I want to share something from my process.
Perhaps you’ll recognize yourself in it.

Here we go.
It’s been a little quiet here.
I felt a strong pull inward.

In the past months, I’ve been peeling back new layers of myself.
Survival patterns are woven into everything, aren’t they?

Apparently I needed to drop even deeper into discernment.
Everything that still holds emotional charge is showing itself.
I get to see it, see through it, recognize it, acknowledge it.

I read somewhere:
When you feel yourself pushing against an upper limit…
who or what still wants to be forgiven?

Yeah.
Forgiveness.

But what are you actually forgiving?
The other?

It seems like that, but that’s hardly ever the truth.
It’s about dissolving the emotional charge in me.

And yes, I found open threads inside myself.
Especially from me — to me.
Because ultimately, everything and everyone is a mirror.
Of ourselves.

If I’m still holding on to resentment, anger, needing to be right, pain, or that deep fear…
where am I keeping myself stuck?

And who is the one that truly needs to be forgiven?
Exactly.
Myself.

And… I get to move through the grief.
I have to move through the grief.
No bypasses.
I can’t do that anymore. In anything.

The grief cycle arrived on a new layer.
For every bit of grief,
every belief that isn’t true,
every painful experience,
every moment I walked away from myself thinking that would keep me safe —
for every separation from myself —
apparently I get to go through the process again.

Still?
Are you still not there yet, Eve?

Oh…
I just smile. At myself.
There is no end point; only more potential waiting to open.

Apparently there is still so much more potential wanting to move.
Well… yes, please.

The cycle unfolds — each time faster and clearer now:
from totally unconscious, to recognizing and feeling powerless.
Turning someone into a victim or a perpetrator feels safer than powerlessness
(and that’s okay — it’s a phase).
Then sadness.
Then grief.
The grief for myself.

And then acceptance… and forgiveness…
… only to discover that there was nothing to forgive.

And yes, my mind understands that.
But my body also has to take it fully.

In her own timing.
In her own grief cycle.
So the knot in my stomach can loosen.
So she can soften.
So every cell in my body can feel self-worth and self-love.
In everything.
And that is both beautiful and confronting.

It’s raw.
Raw grief.
About everything.
About what I did and didn’t do.
Said and didn’t say.
And especially about everything that was far too big for me to influence.

And then… gently… underneath it all…
comes the quiet.
My eyes soften.
My body relaxes.
I feel gratitude.
For every experience.
For the new version of me that is beginning to awaken.
Wider. Fuller. With more Love.

I can feel that it’s right to start sharing again.
But how it unfolds…
I leave that to Life.

We’ll see.

Wishing you a beautiful day.