The magic of systemic perspective.
The magic of constellation work.

Fifteen years ago, a magical field opened up for me.
While I was entangled in a deep struggle myself, I was asked to be a representative for a woman who was setting up her family system. I remember thinking, ‘I have to do this right, for her.’

But as soon as I stepped into the constellation, it was as if everything changed. The energy. My perspective. I saw my own story. I saw the players in my own script. This was my movie. Huh? I was standing for her, wasn’t I? But this was all about me.

The constellation unfolded. There was an empty space. Someone was missing, and I could feel it strongly. The woman I had already thought of beforehand to represent my mother was asked by the facilitator to fill that empty space. She stood up, I looked into her eyes, and I knew instantly: ‘Mama.’ Sigh. Mama.

Mama, I’ve missed you so much.

A drawer that had been closed for so long began to open. Only now do I truly begin to feel it:
Mama, I’ve missed you. Mama, unconsciously, I’ve searched for you in everything. And it was too painful.

My survival part had buried that drawer deep down because the loss – for the little girl I was – was too overwhelming. And here it was opening for the first time. Mama.

This was the beginning of a journey of self-discovery. The act of burying mama – and therefore papa too – was a survival reaction, but not really a good idea. It was the act of burying myself. After all, I am 50% my mother and 50% my father. That’s just how it is, and it remains so, even if there’s a painful story attached. It’s about fully accepting that story. All the beauty, all the seemingly less beautiful parts.

Over the past fifteen years, that drawer has been opening. Slowly, just right, so that it was manageable for my body, for my whole system. Slowly but surely, I was able to take my rightful place. Slowly but surely, I could integrate my survival patterns, my pain, my trauma, and begin to know my healthy part.
It requires a healthy part to be a clear counterpart. More and more for myself and more and more for those around me. Because the healing movement towards my rightful place and the full acceptance, in every cell, of what is, has brought me so much.

And then it naturally comes to you.
Then life naturally invites you to pass it on.

I met Lydia, who shares the same love for this ‘constellation field.’
All the information, training, and deepening within myself naturally came forth. I gratefully embraced it with both hands. The past fifteen years have been one healing journey.

And then, when the timing is just right, the questions come.
Naturally.

My answer?

There is always just one:

How can I serve?

And now that I have the privilege of living in this beautiful place, how can this place contribute?
Last Saturday, this place opened up for a beautiful afternoon of constellations. What a special moment it was.
There’s more to share, that will come later.

For me, it felt like a new beginning.
A fresh start.
With wonderful people and healing movements.

I’m curious to see where this will lead.