The beginning of a new journey

A new beginning is not always about adding more. Sometimes, it's about letting go.

The past months have been a profound journey of self-love and transformation. Letting go. Creating space. Connecting with my body and energy.

Mirrors of relationships

Relationships were mirrors. They showed me where I lost myself. Where I wasn't fully available, for myself. They showed me where I had to make a decision. Not easy, yet important.

That realization was painful. But also liberating. Because once you see, you cannot unsee. And once you break patterns and release what no longer serves you, your life force energy starts flowing again.

My commitment to myself

This is my commitment. Being fully available for myself. Embodying lightness. Feeling joy. Receiving abundance. Not as a concept. But as a daily reality.

And that means… No longer living on willpower and tension. No longer just surviving. But embracing embodiment, body awareness, and ease.

My body already feels it. Tension is releasing. Energy is flowing. It’s time to choose.

From dissociation to coming home to my body

My body.
I have never fought against it. No battles, no illnesses, no injuries.
It was simply there.

Once, I broke my ring finger when I slipped on a slide ladder and my wedding ring got caught on something.
Not ideal—having a finger sticking out at a right angle—but that was it.

Yes, there was a period of migraines.
And what my body was trying to tell me was crystal clear.
The moment I uncovered what I had long suppressed—through systemic constellations—the migraines disappeared instantly.

Now I am only beginning to see. What an incredible instrument of transformation my body is. And for so long, I didn’t see it. I didn’t feel it. I wasn’t fully present in it.

The patterns that held me back

No battle with weight. No obsession with being healthy. No struggle with food or movement.

But also… A deep, unconscious pattern of not wanting to be here. Dissociation. A trauma response.

On the outside, everything seemed fine. Successful business, family, wonderful children, a good home, everything running smoothly. My neighbors recently told me: “You had everything so well organized.” Oh, really? On the inside? Empty. Not truly present. But if ‘not being present’ is the only state you know… how can you know there is more?

Yes, this too is trauma. Personal trauma. Transgenerational trauma. Collective trauma.

Trauma fragments. Trauma breaks connection. Trauma dissociates.

Recently, I had a beautiful conversation with my father. About the moment when, as a 9-year-old girl, I decided to check out. How he experienced it. How it was for me. Without judgment.

“Oh yes, that happened.” “I now understand what it must have been like for you, Dad.” “I see now what it cost me. And you. And the people around us.”

The bigger picture

And… Nothing is ever for nothing. It was necessary. It was part of my journey towards awareness and healing.

But it’s bigger than that. Because this life is a reflection of something greater. A hologram within a hologram. A deep resistance to being here.

A nagging feeling of: “What am I doing here?” Fighting is one strategy. The other? Pretending to be here while actually not being here.

That was my story.

But the beautiful thing? If you’ve been so far away… coming home can only be magical.

Coming home to my body. Coming home to self-love. Coming home to life force energy.

What a homecoming it is.

The deeper reset

And so…

I have begun a physical reset.

Honestly? The past 20 years – and especially the last 7 – have been reset after reset.

My consciousness. My mental state. My emotional field.

Cleansing. Reprogramming. Creating a new reality.

And now… I arrive at my physical body. A complete body reset – nutrition, hormones, nervous system, movement, breathwork. Because everything is connected.

This is not a diet. This is not control. This is not a temporary change.

This is the result of all inner transformation. Of rediscovering who I am. Of consciously letting go and becoming lighter. Of breaking patterns and meeting my essence.

From within to without.

I am so curious to see where it takes me.